


Intervention

by DanaEliza



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Ai and Camus are roasting everyone, Ai and Camus being mean, Best Friends For Life, Crack, This is crack, a bit OOC, acquaintances though, but it's crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-08-01 03:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16276655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaEliza/pseuds/DanaEliza
Summary: Ai and Camus find it their duty to point others on their flaws, to help them improve in a way.





	Intervention

**Author's Note:**

> After raving about Ai and Camus friendships with a friend, I really felt the need to write some crack. And with enough encouragement, I did... I hope it's funny XD I had fun at least?

Finding a sleek white envelope with golden details on his pillow was a strange occurrence. Reading the mysterious message inside made him grumble under his breath, but slightly hopeful at the same time. An invitation to meet by an anonymous person could bring good things. What he found when he actually went to the appointed room was anything but good.

"Ranmaru, thank you for coming." That monotone in which Ai spoke meant something was up. But to be fair something was always up when Ai and Camus got together.

The latter was sipping his painfully sweet tea with a frown folding between his eyebrows, annoyed by how loudly Ranmaru dragged a chair to the little circle.

"We asked you to come on very important matters," Ai continued, suddenly holding up a little sign that said 'intervention' in cursive. "There are some things we'd like to discuss with you, because we feel like things could improve a lot for you. So this is an intervention."

"The rocker image is so passé," Camus mused, casually sipping his tea again. "The leather, the darkness, the whole I am dangerous look is something the fans are done with. Come up with a new style. It is so outdated."

Nodding in agreement Ai eyed Camus for a second, before focusing on Ranmaru once more. The target of this conversation. "Yes, Camus and I agreed that you should've taken an example on your previous band members. They had the right idea to get out early. Turn away from the rock image, and focus on more important things. Like pleasing the fans."

"The fans will not be pleased with your looks now," Camus interjected. "Dying your hair, wearing a contact. It is all about natural beauty. Use the body that is given to you, and show the fans that. It's all about going back to basics."

"What the hell!" Ranmaru managed to say before the next insult was thrown his way. "Ai is fake as shit!"

The piercing stare Ai shot him said the android was not impressed in the slightest. "I was created after the perfect image of someone else. A natural beauty if you will. I still do not adjust the looks that were given to me to fit a certain image."

"Ai is as perfect as I am," Camus said with a clack of the tongue. "Unlike someone who doesn't understand what a beauty sleep is. I'll give you a hint. It does not mean you should fall asleep wherever you are. That does not provide you with a gracious appearance."

"Right," Ai agreed once more. "Your bedhead is not something people enjoy looking at. Not to mention your dark roots, and your foul mood once you wake up. It's not appealing whatsoever."

"It does explain one thing we have noticed." The cup of tea was raised to Camus lips once more. That stupid thing should be empty by now!

"Indeed it has. We now understand why you refer to your guitars as your girlfriends," Ai explained. "Even if we are not allowed to date, you are very aware of the fact that there is no way you would have a girlfriend in the first place. Which is very sad."

"Very sad indeed," Camus affirmed.

"But if you remember our tips and put them to good use, all that will change. We have confidence that you can improve," Ai finished.

"We do?" Camus questioned.

The two shared a look, a silent conversation taking place. "Yes, we do have confidence, therefore we are holding the intervention. Thank you for coming, Ranmaru. You may now leave." Ai waved at the door, motioning for Ranmaru to get a move on.

"What the…" Several profanities fell from Ranmaru's lips as he angrily focused on the two interveners.

"Rude!" Ai called out, turning away from Ranmaru.

"And this is what we get for helping," Camus replied, sipping his empty tea cup some more.

One thing was for sure though. Ranmaru's ego had never been as hurt as it had been today. Never listen to mysterious letters. You never know who will roast you next.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Follow me on instagram! In my story I will mention when I'm writing and what I am writing usually :) at: dana.eliza


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